Like I said in my little “soap box speech” on physical activities for kids and parenting, you do not necessarily have to engage your kid in sports in order for them to get the exercise they need – just playing in the backyard is great exercise for your kids. However, participating in some kind of sport can also be an excellent choice for the entire family. But you need to adopt the right kind of attitude.

I happened to find an excellent article on this topic by Scott Gale, and I will therefore publish it in its entirety here:

Parenting & Sports – The Do’s & Don’ts of Raising Athletic Kids

“The evidence supporting sports participation for young people is overwhelming…It has the power to combat everything from racism to low self-image, to the high-school drop-out rate.” -Sue Castle

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Youth sports are a vital part of our culture and society. Sports help kids develop- physically, mentally and emotionally. Sports teach kids to compete effectively, individually and as a part of a team. Sports instill discipline that will one day drive kids to create and seize opportunity. Games inspire smiles, tears and laughter. In short, youth sports shape the next generation of leaders and well-balanced human beings.Unfortunately, the careless actions of a few adults can ruin this wonderful institution of American culture for kids and adults alike. We see it in the headlines, hear it in the bleachers, and internalize it on the field. Parents yell, complain, insult and even fight.

In light of these modern challenges, how can you, as a parent protect your child’s love and passion for games that are so pure in intent and such an integral part of growing up? How can you, as an adult, improve the experience for other children and their parents?

It’s simple. Follow the rules and stand up for the essence of spirited competition. Before the next time your kid sets foot on a court, diamond, field or any other competitive forum, follow these tips to optimize the situation for you and him both.

1. Understand Purpose

In the world of immediate gratification that we live in, it’s easy to overlook long term purpose, both for kids and adults. The key to getting the desired results is to identify the reasons you and your family dedicate hard work and effort that youth sports take. There are lots of reasons people put their kids in sports; however, the most common ones are to encourage kids to:

• Learn new games
• Stay fit and develop good habits
• Be part of a team
• Have fun…so much so that they want to play again
• Stay out of trouble
• College scholarship (or even professional career)
• Bonding opportunities

In many instances, the will to participate in youth is may be shared by parent and child, but for very different reasons. Other times, one or the other champions the cause. Regardless of the situation, parents must assess why they and/or their children seek out youth leagues, training, etc. As you’ll see, the understanding of such purpose empowers parents to make the right choices to achieve results.

2. Do Your Homework

In populated areas, the choices for youth participation are endless. Which sports and activities should we focus on? Which league has the right level of competition? Which coach will provide the optimal experience? How do I handle it if things do not go as planned?

These are all valid questions that get answered, consciously or unconsciously, before most every registration. In some cases, there are few choices (i.e. you can’t always select your coach) with limited repercussions; however, as players become more specialized and play at a higher level, the selection from a multitude of opportunities may dictate the direction and quality of the experience. In this case, parents must match purpose with expectation to make the best decision, given the choices and circumstances. Like everything else in life, there are no guarantees that intent will become reality; nevertheless, it is clearly the best place to start.

3. Respect All, Fear None

Image by IMAGO escandon via Flickr

For whatever the reason, respect by players and parents for the coaches and referees who make youth sports possible are waning. Parents yell and complain to coaches, umpires and other parents when they feel their child got slighted, overlooking the extraordinary time contribution and patience that such volunteers invest to make the games possible. Kids disrespect coaches and verbalize frustration when they are not placed in the spotlight.Not only do these distractions ruin the game for all involved, they undermine the applications of sports to real life. It’s alright to voice concern, but in the end, parents and kids alike must respect the decisions of those positioned to make them. As kids transition into adulthood, they must understand the realities of authority, teamwork and sportsmanship.

Since parents set the examples, it’s important to realize who can be damaged before an errant comment, complaint or fit of rage leaves the mouth. Youth sports are about kids, we as parents simply cannot afford to overlook that.

4. Enjoy the Pageantry

If you’ve paid attention to the first three tips, this one should be a snap. This is where understanding, preparation and good intentions come together…GAME TIME. If you’re kid is on the right team for the right reasons, you can appreciate the competition and development of your child, even if the team has a limited degree of success.

Youth sports can be some of the most precious memories of both parenting and childhood. Emotional and physical growth, combined with excitement and shared passion, can result in pure joy, even in defeat. Kids often seem to get over a tough loss with a good after-game snack, even when the parents and coaches are still second-guessing a bad call or poor play. Since the goal of it all surrounds the kids, shouldn’t parents follow their lead?

5. Grab a Whistle

If you don’t have the time or temperament to coach, skip this section. However, if you’ve ever thought of coaching, but talked yourself out of it because you just weren’t sure if you skills, patience or flexibility to be coach, then now is the time.Coaching allows parents to bond with their kids in unique and fulfilling ways. Not only are spending time with your kid(s), your sharing a team and competing side-by-side each time you take the field. You can talk endlessly about games, other teams and players, just as you would with a friend. You get to meet a lot of other kids and their parents at a very personal level, so you can surround your children with kids you trust. Finally, you learn a lot about yourself as a parent and leader.

Like most parenting choices, coaching is what you make of it. Embrace it with a good attitude and it can be the experience of a lifetime. Conversely, if you coach to boost your ego or capture unfulfilled championship dreams, your efforts will likely be misguided and end in disappointment.

Scott Gale is an author and instructor at University of California Irvine. His passion is helping families communicate and re-connect in spite of today’s hectic lifestyle and increased demands. Scott’s new book, “Your Family Constitution: A Modern Approach to Family Values and Household Structure,” inspires readers to increase togetherness and progressively improve by leveraging clarity, consistency and commitment. For more information on his book or to learn how to create your customized Family Constitution visit: http://www.yourfamilyconstitution.com or e-mail: scottg@yourfamilyconstitution.com.

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As for the argument that so often surfaces that we have to little time in order to engage in various activities with your kids, I would also recommend that you have a look at the above author’s latest blog post on how to strengthen your family relationships.